I am longing for a guy like Tyler Posey. Although I do not know anything about Tyler’s persona or what type of guy he is, I like him. But he is just an idiom for someone to see me in a different perspective. He is a metaphor for someone to love me. He is a dream.
There are only seven months of school left, in eight months I will have finished my exams, in ten months I will have my diploma and in twelve months I will have finished studying for a year and my gap year will start. I do not know if I should be scared, studying or happy about all of this. By now, I thought I would know what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. But I guess that really takes a lot more than just being able to say to have finished school.
There are times I just want someone to take care of me. Most of the girls in my class do have that someone and hearing them talk about it, makes my heart jump. It makes me happy, longing for that someone. But that is it, a fantasy. I am focused on this ridiculous dream. It is just an idea. Right now that’s really all it is, a vision, a craving, a longing, an idea. That’s all it ever will be.
Summer in France couldn’t be more beautiful.
Every time I look at him, I remember. He has a girlfriend. But then, after a while I am glad that he is committed to someone, because he deserves someone as amazing and caring as him. Even if he wasn’t in a relationship, I would be to shy to even ask him out and right now I don’t allow myself to have a boyfriend, it would be too much of a distraction and too much work. I just don’t have the energy to put into a relationship right now.